


First

by Lazuli5



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, PearlapisMarathon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:13:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27632564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazuli5/pseuds/Lazuli5
Summary: Pearl and Lapis are friends, sure. How could they not be, when their friends are friends? But Pearl didn't think they were particularly close - certainly not close enough for Lapis to ask her to pretend to be her girlfriend, and yet that's exactly what she does. What can she do? Turn her down? Not likely. Especially not when she's got a huge crush on her.
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli/Pearl (Steven Universe)
Kudos: 21





	First

"So?" Lapis taps her foot quickly against the ground. Quick taps mean impatientness, slow taps mean anxiety. Pearl isn't surprised to find that she knows this. "What do you think?"

Pearl sighs. It's hard for her to concentrate on Lapis's face, yet it's hard for her to look away. Why does she have to be so intoxicating? It isn't fair. Pearl surely doesn't have that effect on anyone.

It must have to do with her appearance. She's pretty enough, she supposes, or at least that's what her mother tells her. Can she really be trusted, though? This is the same woman who told her the Tooth Fairy was real. She has strawberry blonde hair cut into a sleek pageboy, and she always has it tucked behind her ears. Her nose is pixie-like, straight and pointed. She's on the tall side, maybe five eight-ish. Nothing special.

Lapis, on the other hand, radiates beauty. It isn't just her looks, either. She has a light, a source of energy, and people gravitate to her. Though her appearance isn't half bad. Her hair is short and wavy, naturally blonde but dyed blue to match her eyes. Her eyes are electric, shining with lightning and the feel of ice cracking in the winter. A splash of freckles dance across her nose, and she has a dimple on her left cheek. She's shorter than Pearl, but only by an inch or two. The perfect angle for kissing. Not that she'd know. 

She's spent a year gathering these facts about her, silent details she'd let slip during rushed conversations, usually not even to her. But she'd eaten her words up, storing them in her mind, revisiting them whenever she wanted. Lapis has crawled and creeped her way into her brain, and she isn't leaving any time soon. She simply can't concentrate when she's around.

Especially here, in her house, on her front step, it's difficult for her to focus. Lapis is here. At her house. Actually here, in flesh and blood. Not in her dreams, in her fantasies, the thoughts that had consumed her head the past year. It's almost too much for her feeble heart to handle, but she's managing to hold it together. Mostly because she doesn't want Lapis to think her weak if she plain passes out in her arms, though that would be at least a chance for her to touch her. No, keep it together, Pearl. Focus.

"I don't know..."

"Aw, come on!" She says, grasping her hands. An electric shock goes up her spine at her touch, but she wills herself to remain calm. "Peridot's bringing that girl to the party, I can't look bad in front of that!"

"How do you even know that she's bringing this girl?"

"Amethyst told me. It's just for one night, come on, you just have to pretend to be my girlfriend, how hard can it be?"

"Very!"

"All you have to do is come to the party and hang around, maybe let me kiss you a couple times."

"Woah. I didn't - I wasn't - 

She ignores her blabbering. "She's bringing this girl that she met at her job, I've never met her before, come on, you just have to help me show her that I'm over her."

"But you're not."

"Not the point. Look, I don't have a lot of options here!"

"What about Amethyst or - or - Bismuth?"

Lapis rolls her eyes, as if the idea of taking Amethyst or Bismuth to the party is somehow offensive to her. "Bis is going there with Garnet, I won't have a chance to see her before tonight, and Ames has a crush on Peridot, she's already upset as it is. You're my only hope!"

Ignoring her beating heart, she wrenches her hands out of Lapis's. "Well, then, maybe you should've thought of this earlier! What if I can't tonight?"

"Then I'll cancel your other plans."

"What if they're important?"

"This is more important."

"What if they're with my parents?"

"I'll get your sister to do it."

"I don't even have a sister!"

Lapis retracts, a calculating look on her face. "Ah, yes. We'll have to work on that. Okay, tell me everything about you! We need to make this look real if it's gonna work."

"Wha -"

"No, you're right. Obviously I can't learn everything about you in like ten minutes. We'll have to do like a study session or something."

"But -"

"And of course you'll need to know a bunch of stuff about me, too. Okay, so my full name is Lapis Elizabeth Lazuli, I was born in the Philippines, my favorite color is blue -"

"Lapis!" Pearl shouts, and she hopes that it's not too obvious that she'd already known everything she'd just told her. "I didn't even agree to do this!"

Lapis pouts, her eyes downcast, her face so drooped that she rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.

"Okay, let's just say for a minute that - hypothetically - that I did. What's... what would we even do?"

"Well..." Lapis says, tapping her slender finger against her chin. Suddenly she shifts her weight so that she is balanced on one arm stretched out above her head. She can feel a blush creeping along her cheeks. God, does she have any idea how she makes her feel?

"You'd just have to be casual. Casual dating," she explains, her voice sift and hoarse as she looks down triumphantly at the cowering Pearl below her.

"Causal?" She gasps, and in her state of panic she trembles and knocks Lapis's hand off the wall, sending her tumbling down on top of her.

She yelps and loses her balance, and Pearl grunts under body, trying hard not to breathe too hard or too soft. Her head is right on her chest, and she can feel it moving up and down rapidly to the beat of her heart. She prayed it isn't too noticable as she lifts her to her feet.

"Exactly. Casual," Lapis says, as if the last thirty seconds had never happened.

Pearl, on the other hand, is breathless, trying to get her heart rate back to normal. She manages to shoot her a reproachful look, however.

"So let me get this straight. You want me to go to Ames's party tonight, where your ex girlfriend will be with her new girlfriend, and you want me to go with you and pretend to be your girlfriend?"

"Right."

"That's it?"

"Well, you might have to kiss me a couple times. We gotta make it believable, and I'm not a saint."

Pearl fights a blush, taking a few steps back. "No. If we're doing this, I get a say. And - and I say no kisses." She stands a little taller as if to make her point.

Lapis narrows her eyes. "Oh, come on, no one's going to believe I turned into a monk to date you."

"Well, I'd like my first kiss to be real, thank you very much."

"Wait. What?" Her mouth upturns into a smirk. "You've never kissed anyone?"

"Wou - shh!" She claps her hand over her mouth. "You have to tell the whole neighborhood?"

"Sorry, it's just - dang." Lapis nods in grudging respect. "I don't think I could've gone that long, I don't have the willpower."

"Wha - then how many people have you kissed?"

She lets out a surprised little laugh and crosses her arms. "You really wanna know?"

Pearl thinks about it, and decides that she doesn't. "Look, just... no kisses, all right?"

"Fine," she exhales. "But at least let me kiss you on the cheek or something. Will that be a problem, Miss Purity?"

"No," she growls. "And careful with the nicknames, or I might just back out of this little scheme."

"You mean you'll do it?" Lapis's whole demeanor changes in a microsecond. 

Pearl sighs, her eyes on the sky. She shrugs in a sheepish sort of way. "I guess."

"Thank you!" She squeals, embracing her in a bone crushing hug. "This'll be easy!"

Pearl isn't so sure. But if it means that she'll be able to keep Lapis's arms around her, then she is more than willing.

-

"Hey, dude," Amethyst says, opening the door and giving Lapis a hug. "Long time, no see."

"I just saw you at school, dude," she says.

"Hey, P!"

"Hi, Amethyst," she says. Lapis grabs her hand, and she stiffens. 

"What's wrong?" She mutters out of the corner of her mouth.

"What are you doing?" She mutters back.

"I'm holding your hand, like your girlfriend."

"Do your hands have to be so sweaty?"

"My hands aren't sweaty, your hands are sweaty!"

"What's this?" Amethyst interrupts. "P? You didn't tell me... I didn't know... you and Lapis..?"

"Moment of truth," she murmurs to her, then her grip is released on her hand and transferred to her shoulder. "Yep! Introducing my girlfriend, Pearl."

"I know who she is," she says, grinning. "Congrats. You know, I always got the feeling that you guys would end up together."

"What?"

"Yeah." Amethyst shrugs. "Just a vibe I got from watching you."

"Oh." Lapis wrinkles her nose, and Pearl has to refrain from melting. She's so cute. "Well, anyway. Is Peri here yet?"

She scowls and jerks her head over to a table. Peridot is standing there, her arm resting flirtatiously on a girl with long black hair. She flips it over her shoulder and Pearl sees her grey eyes glittering behind long lashes. She catches her breath. The girl is gorgeous. 

Lapis glares at her for some reason, like she is offended that Pearl is staring at this girl. What does she care? It's not like this is real. She just thinks she's pretty, that's all. If only Lapis knew how she really felt.

"What's her name?" She asks Amethyst, who is glaring at the girl in disbelief, as if she can't believe that Peridot has the guts to be flirting with her instead.

"I don't know. Ivory, or something."

"Huh." Lapis studies the girl, and Pearl can't quite read her face. Doubt, maybe, and intrigue, but no jealousy, no envy. That's wrong. She should be in rage right now, angered that she is being replaced. She should not be eyeing Ivory like she is a mildy interesting exhibit at a museum. 

"Lapis," she mutters, elbowing her in the gut and giving her a pointed look. 

"Er - right." She shakes her head and squeezes her hand. "Well, should we get a drink?"

Pearl nods and allows Lapis to lead her over to a table with a cooler under it. She reaches under and pulls out two beers, but Pearl declines. 

"You do know we're underage, right?"

Lapis shrugs and pops the can open. "I do. Your point?"

"How can you even drink that stuff, it smells awful!"

She shrugs again and Pearl decides to drop it. She leans back against the wall next to her and doesn't pull away when she laces their fingers together. 

Thry stand there in comfortable silence for a while until Lapis abruptly drops her hand and stands up straight, shoving her can onto the table and hastily dusting herself off. 

"Here she comes," she hisses in Pearl's ear. "Act like you love me. Don't be a dummy."

"Don't call me a dummy, you dummy," she hisses back, and he's about to retort when Peridot stops in front of them. She attempts to plaster a smile on her face.

"Hey, Peridot," Lapis says causally. "What's up?"

"Not much," she answers, and there is an awkward pause where they both sort of lean in but also hesitate. If Pearl wasn't so focused on acting she would've rolled her eyes. 

"How're you, Pearl?" 

"Good!" She says quickly. "Good, good, I'm good, all good!"

Peridot lets out a puff of air and Lapis grips her hand tightly. 

"I'm - I'm gonna go throw this away," she says vaguely, gesturing to her beer can.

"Okay."

She grabs the can, hesitates, and then quickly, before she can change her mind, she reaches up and kisses her on the cheek. 

"I'll be right back."

Pearl nods, staring after her retreating figure. Two nimble go gets reach up involuntarily to touch the warm place where her lips had touched.

"What was that?"

She gives a start and remembers Peridot is here. Of course. That's the point of this whole thing. How could she have forgotten?

"Oh. Um." For a moment she is at a loss for words. "A kiss, I guess."

Peridot is gaping at her, eyes wide and brow furrowed. "Since when does Lapis just kiss you?"

"Uh, er -" she curses herself. Why does she have to be so awkward? "Since she's my girlfriend?"

"Lapis is your girlfriend? Since when?"

She shrugs. That's right, Pearl. Act natural. "A few months now." That is the story they had come up with. They'd had a good time, really, sitting in Lapis's bedroom discussing themselves and their fake relationship. Surprisingly Pearl hadn't even had time to marvel the fact that she was actually in Lapis's room. She has been too busy acting out parts and laughing and... having a good time. She feels closer to Lapis now. Unfortunately it isn't the type of close that she wants, but she'll take what she can get.

Apparently Peridot buys it or just isn't in the mood for arguing, because she just says, "Congrats," and stands beside her, both of them waiting for Lapis to return. 

She struggles to find something to say. She and Peridot have never been terribly close, but she considers them friends, and now she's afraid she'll say something that will give her away. So they stand in silence until she hears Lapis's footsteps tottering toward them, two beer cans clinking together as she walks

"Hey," she says, leaning down. She feels her heart speed up, but she's only handing her the can. Her mouth stays away from hers.

"Hey," she says back, accepting the can though looking at it warily. "Lapis, I told you I didn't want -"

"So Peridot, I heard you were bringing your new girl tonight?" Lapis says, interrupting her.

Pearl rolls her eyes and sets the can down. She leans against Lapis like a good girlfriend and listens as she talks to Peridot. Thankfully she puts her arm around her so she doesn't feel too much like a third wheel.

"Yeah, Ivory. She's nice, you'd like her."

"Oh? Where is she?"

"She should be around here somewhere...there she is! Ivory, come over here, there's some people I want you to meet!"

Ivory turns and dazzles them with a bright white smile, teeth all in place. Her long hair swishes as she sashay over to them, coming to rest next to Peridot, who has a grin in her voice as she says, "Ivory, this is Lapis. Remember, I told you about her?"

"I remember. Nice to meet you, Lapis," she says, and Lapis uses her free hand to shake hers. It must be a tight one, for her grip on Pearl's shoulder tensed.

"And this is her girlfriend, Pearl," Peridot continues. She nods in her direction.

"Hey," she says to Pearl, and Lapis glances at her questioningly. 

"Did you already tell her?"

"Yep," she says tightly. "I did."

"Oh." He turns to Peridot. "Uh, yeah. So... yeah, Pearl's my girlfriend now."

"I told her congratulations," Peridot says curtly. 

"Just her?"

"Well, you, too, I suppose."

"You suppose?"

"Are you a parrot? Quit repeating everything I say!"

"Then start saying stuff that makes sense!"

Pearl doesn't notice that Ivory has quietly snuck up behind her until she whispers in her ear. "They used to date?"

She gives a start but nods. "Yeah. They broke up and got back together all the time."

"Huh. Peri didn't tell me that they used to go out, she just said she liked her," she says, and Pearl frowns. 

"Then how did you know they used to date?"

She jerks her head in their direction. "Just figured it out. It's kind of obvious, don't you think?"

She hesitates but listens to Lapis and Peridot arguing. Yes, they're mad, but there is a passion to their anger. There's a tenderness to each harsh word thrown, a sort of under layer beneath the surface. She nods. "Yeah, I guess."

She sighs and taps her foot. The argument is going nowhere. She lifts her hand as a farewell to Ivory and makes her way over to Garnet.

"Hey, Garnet."

"Hi, Pearl," she says, but from her tone she can tell she isn't really paying attention to her. "Are they at it again?"

"Yeah. Couldn't take it anymore."

"Pearl, did I just hear what I think I heard?" Bismuth says, running over to them.

"Uh... maybe?"

"Ames just told me that you and Lapis are dating! Is it true?"

Garnet glances down over her glasses. "Hey, congrats. I always thought you two would get together."

Bismuth laughs out loud, throwing her head back and clapping Pearl on the shoulder hard. "Nice score, P!"

She blushes. "She's not a score, Bis."

"Sure she's not." Bismuth winks. "Have y'all... you know?"

"Bismuth!"

She laughs again and punches her playfully before walking away. Pearl groans and Garnet pats her on the back comfortingly.

Out of the crowd Lapis storms over to them, her blue hair flying, her eyes blazing with frustration. She grabs Pearl's hand. "Come on, we're leaving. I can't stay here anymore."

"Wait - what?"

She doesn't answer, simply drags her to the front door and to her car. 

"Lapis - Lapis, wait! Wait!"

She turns around, her keys in her hand. Pearl eyes them nervously for a moment but shake sher head and directs her gaze to her head.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

She exhales, her eyes closed. "I don't know. I just... I have to leave." She looks up, biting her lip. "Are you coming or not?"

She blinks, bewildered. "Oh. Uh, where are we going?"

"Nowhere. Anywhere. I don't care. Just away."

Pearl examines her in the moonlight. She doesn't seem like she's been crying, but with Lapis it's hard to tell. Her cheeks aren't tear stained, but her eyes are red, like she's holding in her tears. Her lower lip is trembling, like she's threatening to break at any moment. She wonders what on Earth Peridot had said to make her like this.

"Okay," she agrees slowly. "But... um, how about I drive?"

Lapis nods, and slowly forces herself into the passenger seat, her head in her hands. Pearl sits down behind the wheel, puts the keys in the ignition, and begins to drive.

"Just hang on, Lapis," she says every other minute. "We're almost there."

Where "there" was, she didn't know, but she found herself pulling up in the parking lot of the park where her mother had taken her when she was little. It has a playground and a few nice benches, so she decides it'll have to do. 

"Come on, Lapis, up you go," she huffs, trying to persuade her to get out of the car. Whatever had happened seems to have really taken a toll on her. She manages to roll her over to a park bench, where she slumps down next to her. Lapis heaves a big sigh, stating straight ahead.

"So... what happened?"

"Nothing."

"I can't help you if you don't tell me."

"No, I mean..." She turns to her, confusion written all over her face. "Nothing happened. That's the problem."

"What do you mean?"

She closes her eyes like she can block it all out. "It's stupid, really..."

Pearl smirks. "Try me."

Lapis laughs softly. "It's just that, while I was arguing with Peridot, I kept thinking to myself, what are you doing? What are you even saying? What is going on? It was like I didn't even have control over my words. And what I was saying was completely stupid. By the end I was just... talking. There was no meaning."

Pearl cocks her head to the side, but she stays quiet. She senses Lapis has more to say.

"It's just confusing. It's like I went there tonight to try and make her jealous, but she wasn't. And... and neither was I." She glances down. "I didn't even care. What does that mean?"

She bites her lip. "Well, I guess it means that you're really over her now. You don't love her anymore."

"I guess." Lapis looks up, directly in her face. She fights a blush, and somehow Lapis seems to be doing the same. They study each other.

"Didn't you say you've never had your first kiss?" She breathes softly. Their faces are inches apart.

"Uh..." Pearl is sure her face is on fire. She had imagined those icy blue eyes fixed on hers a thousand times, but not once did she think it would actually happen. "What?"

Lapis doesn't answer, instead closing her eyes and brushing her lips against hers.

Fireworks explode in Pearl's mind like it's the fourth of July. Lapis is kissing her. Lapis. Is kissing. Her. Here! For real!

Don't just sit there, you idiot! A voice in her head commands. Kiss her back!

And so she does, actually threading her fingers through her hair. It's softer than she thought it would be. Lapis puts her hand on her knee and deepens the kiss.

Minutes, hours, maybe even days pass before they break apart, her hand still in her hair. Her breath is hot on her cheeks. 

"What was that?" Pearl asks, hardly daring to breathe.

Lapis presses her forehead against hers, and she puts her hand on toph of hers. "That was your first kiss."

Pearl shakes her head, not taking her eyes off of Lapis. She doesn't know if she can.

"Kiss me again," she whispers. Lapis obliges, and they're locked together once more, entwined under the moonlight in the cool park air.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! Here's my contribution to #pearlapismarathon, day 9 Human AU! Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
